


Angst

by seabreezws_and_gays



Series: Month of Prompts [6]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Fights, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt Racetrack Higgins, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Spot Conlon is Bad at Feelings, Yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seabreezws_and_gays/pseuds/seabreezws_and_gays
Summary: Spot gets mad for reasons unknown to Racetrack. He tries to find out, and Spot tells him the truth, not as angsty as it sounds because  bad at both writing and summaries. There's just a lot of emotions going around
Relationships: Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Series: Month of Prompts [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913461
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Angst

"Go away Racer!"  
Spot Conlon yelled over his shoulder as he stalked down an alley in Brooklyn, his eyes stinging with tears that would be weak to shed.  
"Spot!?"  
Racetrack pounded down behind the Brooklyn boy, causing him to feel like screaming in frustration.  
"Th' fuck do you want!"  
Spot screamed, turning around and almost causing Race to crash in to him.  
"Spotty?"  
Racetrack said, his voice confused and worried.  
"I said, th' fuck do you want."  
Spot said, his voice lower, but still laced with anger.  
"What's the matter, what happened, are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine, now will you stop following me."  
"Spot, what's going on I just wanted to make sure you're okay."  
"I told you I'm fine. What are you some kinda stalker? Stop fucking following me."  
"Why th' fuck should I!"  
Race said, his anger rising.  
"Why? Because you're a fucking queer! You're sick, you hear me? Fucking freak. Leave me alone."  
Spot pushed Racetrack in the chest and turned away, his chest screaming in silent screams, his mind screaming to turn around, say he didn't mean it, but he didn't.  
He left Racetrack there, hurt and angry, illuminated by the streetlight, as Spot ran back to the boarding house, snot and tears dripping down his face. 

The next morning went as usual for the Brooklyn newsie, but his heart was flopping in his chest and he felt like he was barely staying afloat.

That evening he went to the Brooklyn bridge, the water sparkling with the moonlight as he swung his feet over the edge.  
"Spotty?"  
A whispered hiss came from the shadows, and Spot jumped up and turned around, seeing an apprehensive Racetrack emerging.  
"Race."  
Spot said, his arms crossed over his chest, feeling a mix of anger, pain, and a feeling that told him to break down right there and go to Race's arms.  
"So, are we gonna talk about last night."  
"If you want."  
"Yeah, well I do want."  
"Fine."  
"Why'd you get mad at me then."  
"Youse was following me."  
"Yeah, and why'd you get mad at that? Can I not look for my boyf-"  
Racetrack stopped, the word falling off his lips, broken by angry words previous.  
"Well, lookin for you when you skip our meeting?"  
"Whatever."  
"Whatever? Fuck that. I'm the one whose mad right now, okay? I'm the one that was yelled at, that got called a queer and a freak by the one other person he thought he could trust right? The one person who I thought fucking loved me,"  
Racetrack stopped, his voice breaking and he glared at Spot, daring him to repeat his words. 

"I'm sorry."  
"Why?"  
"Why am I sorry? Why d'you think-"  
"No, why'd you do it."  
"Fuck."  
Racetrack continued to look at Spot, waiting for an explanation.  
"It's scary, y'know. I just, fuck I got scared okay? You know what it's like, living like this. Being scared all the damn time that someone's gonna find out. That's youse gonna get the shit beaten out of you because of this fucking thing. I just got scared."  
Racetrack paused, his face conflicted, he was still angry but he wanted to comfort Spot too, hold him until that broken look was gone from his face.  
"Why'd you take it out on me then?"  
"I wanted you to leave. Give up so we wouldn't have to be scared anymore. But I can't do that. I can't just give up on you. You can give up on me if you want, I understand, but I can't give up on you."  
Racetrack closed the gap between them in two quick strides and held Spot close to him, holding h against his chest.  
"I'm not giving up on you Spotty, fuck I can't give up on you anymore then you can on me. I love you and I'm going to forever, okay?"  
"Promise?"  
"I swear, I promise, I love you Spot."  
Racetrack pulled back and the two stared at each other for a beat, their eyes both glistening.  
"Okay. I love you Racer."  
"Please don't ever do that again okay? Just talk t'me please."  
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. It hurt me, every word I said."  
"I know, I know, it's okay now."  
Racetrack pulled Spot closer, his fingers lost in Spot's hair, and the two stayed like that for a long time, lost in each other, and lost in the stars.


End file.
